Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to inquiries, can you help?" Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?". Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".. Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about". Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" Operator: "I think it means the telephone point on the wall".
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?" Operator: "Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in France) "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?" Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the Number on".
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK". Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No". Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No". Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn the clock on the computer back two weeks will I have my file back again?"
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute; I hadn't inserted it yet, it's still on my desk, sorry.
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Karen, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a colour printer? Customer: Aaaah....... .......... .....thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.
Customer: My new keyboard is not working.. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK! Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes! Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does works...
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
A customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it in windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is in a window, and his printer is working fine.."
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P.....on your keyboard, Bob." Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT
(email from my friend vinodhsiyer@yahoo.co.in)
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