Just for time pass & enjoying jokes.. Nothing Serious...
Monday, August 10, 2009
Computer Jokes (English)
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to inquiries, can you help?"Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre"..Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"Operator: "I think it means the telephone point on the wall".
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"Operator: "Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"
Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in France)"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
Directory Enquiries Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please". Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?" Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the Number on". Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop". Customer: "OK".Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No".Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No".Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn the clock on the computer back two weeks will I have my file back again?" Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No, wait a minute; I hadn't inserted it yet, it's still on my desk, sorry.
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Karen, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
Customer: I have problems printing in red...Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?Customer: Aaaah....... .......... .....thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.
Customer: My new keyboard is not working..Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.Customer: OK!Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?Customer: Yes!Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does works...
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?Customer: Netscape.Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
A customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it in windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is in a window, and his printer is working fine.."
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."Customer: I don't have a P.Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.Customer: What do you mean?Tech support: "P.....on your keyboard, Bob."Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT
Born in Kerala, India. Civil Engineer by profession. Later Specialized in IT, Management, Vaastu, Fengshui, Bau Biology etc.. Constructed thousands of homes and hundreds of commercial buildings in India and abroad. Wrote three books in Malayalam. (Jeevanulla Kettidangal (published by DC Books), Kettidom Paniyum Munpe (published by Lipi Books) & FengShui NityaJeevithathil. After acquiring more than 25years of experience in the Construction Industry, started a new consultancy and a Training Centre in the heart of Kochi to train young Engineers and technicians. Working as CEO in CivilTalents.Com. Vaastu Training, holistic building designs etc are our specialities.
* Member of the Institution of Egineers (I), Calcutta
* Fellow of the Institution of Valuers, New Delhi
* Member of the International Institution of Bau-Biologists, California, USA
* Member of International Vedic Vaastu Institute, New Delhi
* Approved A class design Engineer - Govt of Kerala, Dept. of Urban Affairs.
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